The Perfect “Meh” Gifting Guide

Okay, what happened? Who are they? What did they do? And why don’t you like them? Actually, let’s leave those cans of worms alone, this isn’t the place to find ways to bury the hatchet or become BFFs with people you hold beef with.

Let’s assume all emotional variables will stay the same. And for whatever reason, whether it’s a verbal commitment you made to “make an effort” or “play nice” this year, you’re stuck with the responsibility of giving a gift.

Now, there are a several ways you can approach this situation. You could take the high road with a nice gift. The low road with no gift. Or the road in between, which will lead you through a holiday loophole into the candy cane forest of “meh” gifts.

In order to achieve the perfect outcome, DELIVERY IS KEY. If you give them coal with a devilish smirk, they’ll see right through it and award you no holiday points. But, if you give a fake diamond with a look that says, “me don’t know what real diamond looks like,” you’ll be shining a participation trophy in no time.

Alright, enough of the chitchat. Here are the top 10 Meh gifts. Let the games begin.

#10: Bargain Earbuds

Hear that? That’s the ultra-dull quality of the cheapest earbuds money can buy. In theory it’s a great present most people would love. But if you take out the quality, all you hear is the sweet sting of meh-gifting success. 

#9: Poorly-tinted Unisex Sunglasses

Cheap unisex aviator sunglasses are this year’s “it” gift. Okay, that’s completely false. But for a couple bucks you can check the box and call it a day. And they can almost, ALMOST look cool. Meaning it will look like you gave a cool gift.

#8: An Almost On Time Unisex Watch

What time is it? Yup, its mediocre gift giving time. And hopefully this poorly-crafted gem can keep ticking until after the joyous exchange. Also, remember to think about deliver. Make sure to have a “me don’t know what nice watch look like” face on your face. 

#7: Practically-free Bracelets

Maybe a watch is a little too fancy for their wrist, well, how about going full-blown basic with a bracelet or two. And to gain more holiday points, add a backstory to it. Something like, “I read an article that said people who wear bracelets tend to be more productive.”

#6:  A Low-quality Wireless Mouse

Whether this gift is relevant to their life or not, there is always never a need for a cheapwireless mouse. Especially one that will most likely die after an 8-hour work day. You get what you pay for, so when you go to checkout, make sure it’s the bottom of the barrel.

#5: A Knock-off Water Bottle

Drinking water has been a long-standing every-day task for every person, so this is relevant to all living humans. However, gifting them the cheapest water bottle the internet can find, may not be the hydration tool they’re looking for. But again, it’s the thought that counts.

#4: A Micro-cheap Blanket

There’s nothing more comforting than a cheap fleece blanket to cozy up with during the holidays... Besides probably every other blanket option. It’s another best-intentions gift that will hopefully be seen as just that. But make sure to put on your holiday game face. 

#3: Some Sidewalk Chalk

If you’re looking for a challenge, this is the gift for you. Why? You gotta sell it with a solid backstory. But if you think you can handle it, this will no doubt be a mic-dropping “meh” gift. The backstory: something like, “Yeah, I was watching this documentary about how adults can spark their creativity and reduce stress by using sidewalk chalk”.

#2: A Book. A Bad Book.

Books tend not to be the most exciting gifts. And bad books, well, they’re probably the worst thing a person could receive. Something that you have to use mental effort to at a later time realize just how crummy this gift was. It’s definitely the nicest way to say, “hey, you kinda suck”. 

#1: A Betta Fish

Why is this number 1? If you walked into a party not expecting to bring home a fish or continually take care of one, would that be a fun surprise or a burden? Money should be placed on the latter. 

NOTE: This gift could backfire. Since we do not wish harm to any fish, be prepared to take on the responsibility or return the fish if your giftee declines your offering.

Where To Find These Gems

It’s pretty simple, take whatever gift idea(s) and type it into the search engine or retail shop search bar of your choice. Filter or sort by price (low to high). And choose the one that fits your meh-gift wish list.

Always remember to follow your heart. Play as nice as you can. And fake it until you make it. All three pertaining to the people who will be getting these gifts.

Good luck and happy holidays.